An important question to ask before retirement is, “Where will I live?” With the best of intentions, many retirees move closer to family but is this the right move for everyone? Read on for five things to consider before uprooting your life and following your children to faraway places.
Leaving on a jet plane
Later this week, our older daughter will board a plane to Australia on a one-way ticket. She’s moving there to be with the boyfriend who she has been in a long-distance relationship with for the last six years. She moved from Ontario to British Columbia three years ago so she’s already on the other side of our big country. Now she’ll be really far away on the other side of the world.
Last year, our younger daughter moved to Prince Edward Island on Canada’s east coast. It’s a whole lot closer than Australia, but still too far to drop in for tea and a chat.
It’s bittersweet having them both so far away. On one hand, in a world where many young people are struggling, we’re grateful they’re independent and doing well. On the other hand, I had always hoped they’d live close enough for us to enjoy family dinners and visits on a regular basis.
Should you move closer to family when you retire?
Many people look forward to spending more time with their adult children and grandchildren when they retire. When kids move far away, it’s tempting to pick up and move closer to where they are. But is moving closer to adult children a good idea for you?
Here are a few things to consider before contacting your realtor.
Short- and long-term financial implications
First, think about the financial aspects of a long-distance move.
Moving is expensive even over short distances. Costs add up quickly when moving across the country or around the world.
Consider also the real estate market you’re relocating from and to. Many retirees use the difference between the proceeds of the sale of their current home and the cost of a new home in a lower-priced market to fund their retirement lifestyle. Then, they find themselves stuck if it turns out the move isn’t right for them.
While it may feel appealing to move to a market where housing is less expensive, it could end up being a one-way trip if you don’t manage your money well.
Adult children have busy lives
Whether your kids live across town or on the other side of the world, they live busy lives. Between jobs, kids’ activities, and other commitments, even people with family members living nearby say they don’t see them as often as they’d like to.
Relocating to be closer to your adult children could set the expectation that they’ll be at your beck and call. It’s not their job to entertain you, so be clear about expectations before making the move.
Consider if you may get as much—if not more—quality time with your kids and grandkids on a two-week vacation once or twice a year than if you live around the corner.
Relocating means rebuilding your life
In your current location, you have well established social communities—neighbours, friends, church groups, sports teams, hobby groups—that you’ve built over a lifetime. Relocating means leaving all that behind and starting over.
Strong social connections are vital to mental and physical health, so ask yourself if you’re ready to do the work to rebuild your life in a new place.
Health care considerations
If you have access to a primary care physician and medical specialists where you live, don’t discount the value of that. Even if you’re in good health now, that can change quickly as you age.
Depending on where you move to, it may be very difficult to replace the level of care you currently have access to. This is a consideration in many Canadian provinces, but I’ve also heard stories from the United States of people being unable to access care after an out-of-state move.
Kids may move again
Finally, consider the possibility that your adult children may move again, leaving you living in a place you may never have chosen to live in.
If your kids have made a long-distance move once, there’s a good chance they will do it again for the right opportunity. You don’t want to be the reason they feel obligated to turn down a terrific job offer. As our younger daughter wisely pointed out, “If you moved here, it would put pressure on me to stay here.”
Much as we miss our daughters, we’ve never seriously considered relocating closer to them. Instead we’ll stay in daily contact with technology and plan regular trips to visit them. It’s an opportunity to visit parts of the world we’ve never seen before. I’m already planning our first trip to Australia for 2027 and we have ideas for our next road trip to Prince Edward Island.
“Where will I live?” is just one of many important non-financial questions to consider before retirement. Contact me to learn how I can help you create a holistic plan for your next chapter.
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