Yesterday marked a major milestone for me. It has been 15 years since my breast cancer diagnosis. As I reflected on how that experience changed me, I considered how we can apply cancer’s life lessons to living well in retirement.
From the worst of times to the best of times
My cancer diagnosis blindsided me. In the early days, I feared the worst. After the initial shock wore off, I resolved to carry on with life and focus on staying positive and learning from the experience.
With the wisdom of time, I see how cancer changed my life—for the better. On the tenth anniversary of my cancer diagnosis, I made a list of 10 positive changes in my life from my cancer experience. Fast forward another five years, and I realize cancer’s life lessons translate directly to living our best lives in retirement.
Cancer’s life lessons
You can read my original reflection, 10 Years, 10 Lessons: What Cancer Taught Me About Life, on my personal blog. For today, though, let’s consider how cancer’s life lessons can help us thrive in our retirement years.
Here are 10 of cancer’s life lessons, retirement style.
Things don’t always go as you plan
Nobody knows what’s coming tomorrow. Life is unpredictable and, as we age, things get even more unpredictable.
No matter how much we plan, we may be blindsided by unexpected health issues, the death of a spouse or loved one, the breakdown of a relationship, or any number of unforeseen surprises.
When life doesn’t go the way we planned, the best you can do is take a deep breath and gather your thoughts. Then focus on today and what steps you can take right now to deal with the situation. With a plan in place, trust that everything will work out as it’s supposed to and carry on with life as best as you can.
If you want to do something, just do it
It’s so easy to put things off thinking we can do them later. But, the older we get, the more we realize that later isn’t guaranteed.
One of the exercises I work through with my clients is making a curious list—a list of ideas to explore, learn, and do in retirement.
Don’t let fear, or other people’s opinions, hold you back. If you don’t have a curious list, start one today. Above all, start making the items on your list a priority.
Don’t sweat the small stuff
Life comes with its share of challenges, but most of the things we stress about every day don’t matter in the grand scheme of things.
When things go wrong, ask yourself if you—or anyone else—will care about this next week, next year, or a hundred years from now. It will help you decide if fussing over it is worth your limited time or energy.
How you feel matters way more than how you look
Our youth-obsessed society treats aging like a disease. Every day, we’re bombarded with anti-aging messages, and people make judgments about our competency based on appearance.
After the initial emotions from losing my hair during chemo, I realized it wasn’t the end of the world. When my hair grew back, I decided to embrace the grey and I’ve never looked back.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to look your best, but keep appearance in perspective. The latest wrinkle cream or cosmetic procedure won’t slow the aging process, but health and vitality will help you to age well.
You’re stronger than you think
We never know just how strong we are until we’re tested. In the weeks leading up to my cancer diagnosis, I was terrified. Once the diagnosis was confirmed, I discovered strength I didn’t realize I had.
Make a list of challenges you’ve already overcome in your life and how you handled them. Then, when you run into obstacles, use those strengths to deal with whatever life throws your way.
Take things with a grain—or a whole package—of salt
In the information age, misinformation is rampant. When it comes to health, politics, money, environmental issues, or any other topic we care about, it’s hard to know what to believe.
Trust your instincts and do your homework. Get your information from credible and trusted sources.
Above all, don’t let conspiracy theorists or self-interested individuals rob you of your peace. In his book Think Again, Adam Grant suggests asking, “What evidence would change your mind?” when discussing a contentious issue with someone. If the answer is “nothing”, there’s no point continuing the debate. You’ll just end up frustrated.
Be grateful always
My mother is 93 and is a role model of healthy aging. People often ask me how she’s managed to age so well. Genetics might play a role, but her attitude of gratitude and appreciation has a lot to do with it.
Every day is a gift but we often lose sight of our blessings amid the busyness of life. Psychology Today reports gratitude increases happiness and fosters both physical and psychological health.
It’s never too late to start a gratitude practice. Take a few minutes at the beginning or end of each day to reflect on things you’re grateful for. Write them down and revisit your list whenever you need a boost.
Enjoy the simple things
I believe my mother’s other secret to healthy aging is how she appreciates life’s little pleasures.
Life is all about experiences. Retirement offers an opportunity to do more of the things we didn’t have time for when we were working. Travel and adventure are exciting, but the secret to joy and contentment is found in taking pleasure in small everyday moments.
Make time every day to savour the simple things—morning coffee in your garden, flowers blooming in spring, birds singing, a beautiful sunset, or a cozy chat with an old friend.
Look on the bright side
One of the stereotypical images of aging is that of the grumpy old person watching the world go by and complaining about anything and everything.
Retirement gives us the gift of time. If we don’t have a sense of purpose or meaningful activities to fill that time, it’s easy to fall into the habit of complaining.
Maintaining a positive outlook goes a long way toward helping us get through minor annoyances and big challenges.
When I received the pathology results from my cancer surgery, some of the news wasn’t great. I chose to focus on the positives instead of dwelling on the negative. Sometimes you just have to look a little harder to find it, but there’s something positive in every situation.
Keep your sense of humour
Life can weigh on us. There’s a lot going on in the world, and much of it isn’t good.
I’ve always believed that laughter is the best medicine. There’s nothing funny about cancer, grief, or the many other challenges life throws at us. Even so, a strong sense of humour makes even the toughest day better.
Keep your sense of humour, even in the most difficult of times. Try to find something to laugh about every day. It will make each day a little brighter.
There’s an old saying that every cloud has a silver lining. I found that to be true of my cancer experience. Fifteen years later, I realize that diagnosis was a turning point in my life. Cancer’s life lessons gave me the courage to live life on my own terms. I don’t think I would have achieved that otherwise.
If you’re ready to get started on applying cancer’s life lessons to create a retirement filled with meaning, purpose and connection, contact me to learn more about my workshops and retirement coaching packages.
Leave a Reply