What do you think is the best stage of life? If you could turn back the clock to another time in your life, would you?
In my most recent blog post, I discussed the results of a survey where The Angus Reid Institute asked Canadians if they feel older or younger than their age. Although older respondents reported feeling physically and mentally younger than their actual age, many of them looked to the past when asked what they considered the best stage of life.
The survey reported almost half of Canadians age 55 or older consider the 30s or 40s to be the best stage of life. On one hand, I understand this because this is the stage when many people are building their careers, looking ahead to the future and are unlikely to experience serious health issues. On the other hand, our 30s and 40s are a stressful time when many people feel stretched and torn between career and family responsibilities.
The Angus Reid survey findings are inconsistent with the 2024 World Happiness Report that showed happiness increases steadily with age. In North America, Australia and New Zealand, life evaluations of happiness were lowest among the young, rising gradually with age to be highest in the 60 and over age group.
Would you go back?
A few weeks ago, I had lunch with three of my high school friends. As we caught up and reminisced about the good old days of our youth, someone asked the question, “Would you go back to those days if you could?”
Consistent with the Angus Reid survey, a couple of my friends said yes, they would go back. Mind you, they made the caveat that they’d want to go back with all the knowledge and wisdom they have now.
I responded that I definitely wouldn’t go back to my teenage years, or even my 20s. As I thought more about it, I also wouldn’t go back to my 30s, 40s, or even my 50s.
Every stage of life is different but they all have value. There’s nothing wrong with reminiscing and appreciating the past that brought us to where we are now. But no matter how much we might like to, we can’t go back. Rather than lamenting our lost youth, we can learn to live in the present and look forward to the future. And our retirement years give us an opportunity to do just that.
Retirement is your time to shine
When we’re working and raising a family, we spend our lives pleasing others. Bosses, spouses, and children all compete for our time and attention leaving us little time to do the things we want to do.
Retirement is the time of life when we reap the benefits of all the wisdom we’ve accumulated over our lifetime, and we have the freedom and flexibility to spend time on things that align with what matters to us.
Yet many people at this stage of life feel their best years are behind them.
We must avoid the temptation to keep looking over our shoulder in the rearview mirror at what we have done, and instead look ahead with optimism at what we can still do.
- Stephen R. Covey, Live Life in Crescendo
Live Life in Crescendo is the final book by author Stephen R. Covey, best known for 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. The premise of Covey’s final book is that we can still make a contribution at any age, and our most important work is always ahead of us.
There’s an old saying that whether you think you can or you can’t, you’re right. The same applies to our views on aging and retirement. If we convince ourselves that our best years are behind us, there’s a good chance we’ll get to the end of our lives with regrets.
We are truly limited only by our own views.
Four steps toward your best stage of life
Covey suggests we should never retire from serving and making a contribution. If you’re ready to make retirement your best stage of life, here are four steps to get started.
Define your values
First, take some time to reflect on your values. Make a list of things that matter most to you, and prioritize them. Ideally, you’ll have a list of three to five core values that will guide your decision making.
Consider your legacy
Next, think about your legacy. Covey suggested writing your own obituary. It might sound morbid, but it will help you think about what you want to be remembered for.
Find new purpose
The third step is finding a new purpose that doesn’t revolve around your job. In my coaching work, I use the Japanese Ikigai framework to help people match their skills and passions with what the world needs.
Spend your time on what matters
Finally, evaluate how you spend your time. If your day-to-day activities don’t align with your values, legacy and purpose, it’s time to make changes.
One of life’s great paradoxes is the young wish they were older, while the old wish they were younger. Instead of wishing for a time machine, put your time and energy into making the most of the years you have ahead. You still have much to give!
What do you want to be remembered for? How can you make the most of your remaining years? Those are big questions! Contact me to get started on a plan to make retirement your best stage of life.
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